Story time

Is it narcissistic to share your personal story? To talk openly about things that are wholly and completely you? To confidently express your hopes, your dreams, your desires out loud?  To bravely reveal your fears, pains, and heartaches to others? To candidly admit your flaws, failures, and shortcomings with ownership? Is it egotistical to open up your life and expect others to give two flips?

I’ve experienced many internal feelings since I started this blog a couple weeks ago. I’ve had a lot of self-doubt and concern of who would even be interested in my silly life and why would people take the time out of their busy schedules to read a few poorly constructed sentences of my thoughts. (Or more like a small novel in each post, because I’m super verbose and don’t know how to be concise. I can admit the facts. #sorrybytheway) I’ve chastised myself for being so arrogant to think that anyone would be interested in my internal opinions or remotely invested in my world. Or that anything I would ever have to offer could possibly apply to another person or provide comfort to someone hurting or guidance to anyone searching.

But here’s the deal: It matters.

My story matters.

  

And so does yours.

Our stories are what make us who we are. They matter, because they are the tales penned by the Master Author. We’re each a breathtaking mosaic comprised of broken pieces of a lifetime of experiences: feelings, joys, pains, victories, losses, transformations, longings, love – our stories.

I’m not composing this blog so that the world can gather in masses and fawn at my feet in adoration. Not at all. I’m compelled to write these posts, because I want to live in a world where people, especially women, are honest and transparent. I want to exist in a community where we can strip away the surface and dive into the guts of what make us human beings. Because when we’re merely human, we’re all the same; we’re all in this together; we’re all brethren enduring this human condition on earth as best as we can. I realize that if I want to live in a culture of acceptance and grace, I have to do my part to cultivate the love. Thus, this blog.

When other people are vulnerable with their truths, it boosts my courage to unveil my reality in kind. Likewise, at times when I have been upfront about the deeper parts of my humanity, I have proudly witnessed others step up and join me in that raw space created with tears of joy and of sorrow. On both sides of that coin, the authenticity has not generally been exposed in a public manner, but every time, the ability to lay down the burden of disguise for even just a moment in the presence of another human being has been a massive relief to the soul. That freedom to be yourself is worth pursuing with ferocity.

In any situation, one person must take the first step toward genuineness, or else we all continue to meekly parade our charades of the life we think others expect from us. Someone has to break the status quo and lead that conga line off the dance floor and into the basement of hidden things.

Could it be you? Could you initiate a Revolution of Reality in your world?

I’m certainly not the first one to call bullshit on that sparkling, cumbersome façade we proudly and shamefully uphold, but I want to stand up loud and proud and join the movement toward authenticity. That’s the world I want to live in, so that’s the life I will choose to lead. #bethechangeyouwanttoseeintheworld #clicheandtrue

I’m no longer going to listen to Satan’s casual lies about how self-centered I must be to have the audacity to put my words into digital ink or to verbally express them to those around me. I won’t succumb to the insecurity that what I have to say isn't worth saying or being heard. Or that the exposure of such grit would turn the world away in horror. This is my story, dagnabbit, and it’s real. It’s hard, and it’s broken, and it’s painful, and it’s beautiful, and it’s mine, and it’s real.

It is not narcissistic to share your story. Because I long to hear the stories of others, I’m learning that it is selfless. It is courageous. It is strong. And it is necessary.

We need each other. We need each other’s compassion and acceptance and love and space. We need your stories to know that our stories are valid and welcome and permitted. (Disclaimer: I will later contradict this statement by arguing that we do not need anything from anybody at all, but, instead, to find our personal integrity from within ourselves and our value from Christ alone. But for the purposes and language of this particular discussion, I’ll still stand by this statement.) Getting to know each other on a more intimate level helps us to further acquaint ourselves with the Author of our lives, and at the very core of our beings, what we most intrinsically need is to know God.

We do not need to feel like we must fit into a particular mold in order to also fit into a community. We do not need to feel like everybody else has it all figured out and we’re the only idiots who can’t ever seem to get it right. We do not need to continue pretending we’re someone false just to find a place in the world where we can artificially belong. We do not need to be judged by other people’s perceptions of our lives, nor do we need to pass judgment on others based solely on our limited awareness of their particular situation. We do not need to put on a happy face when we’re broken inside, because we don’t feel we are able to show any unpleasant emotions. We do not need to constantly keep our composure for the sake of someone else's comfort and hide our true selves in the process.

What we need is each other. We’re all people. We’re all humans. We’re all children of God created in His image for His glory. What we need is a safe place to be our true selves. What we need is the courage to be our true selves even when there is no safe place available. What we need is the freedom to discern who our true self even is.

Sharing our stories with one another helps accomplish all of these things. It uncovers hidden realities. It removes clouds of secrecy. It shines light into the shadowed corners of our fears. It joins individuals who have been dwindling away in isolation. It allows us to show compassion to others, because we know what they’re really experiencing. It helps us understand the purposes for behaviors and reactions. It eliminates pressure to conform to an ideal that is exposed as impossible to uphold. It lets us know that we're not alone.

I have recently made a conscious decision to actively pursue the woman I want to become, and I want to grow into a strong, bold woman who has the courage to explore, discover, and claim who I truly am. I’m realizing that it takes genuine strength to evaluate, identify, and express your emotions, and I’m up for the challenge.

I long to rest in an environment where the honest stories of people’s lives are openly and bravely shared, so I’ll open up the floor by starting with mine. This blog will explore my ragged and wonderful story, which God is perfectly authoring.

I humbly invite you to join me. I would love to have some company here.

What is your story? What aspects of your life make you who you are? What have you experienced? Witnessed? Endured? Accomplished? What has shaped your perception of the world? Of Christ? Of yourself? What are you scared to reveal to others? What are you hesitant to explore even internally? You don’t have to share your story with me. (Although I would love for you to and would be greatly honored if you did.) You don’t even have to share it with another person at all. (However, for the sake of humanity at large, I certainly encourage that you do.) But I implore you to at least share your story with yourself. The more you recognize the components of your own story, the more confidently you can identify your true self.